Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love.

One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Jenny’s father to ask him for her hand.

Johnny bravely walks up to him and says

“Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.”

Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies,

“Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?”

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies “In Jenny’s room.

It’s bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely.”

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin,

“Okay then how will you live? You’re not old enough to get a job.

You’ll need to support Jenny.”

Again, Johnny instantly replies,

“Our allowance…Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks aweek.

That’s about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine.”

By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this.

So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won’t have an answer to.

After a second, Mr. Smith says, “Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out.

I just have one more question for you.

What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?”

Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says “Well, we’ve been lucky so far…”
— Best Marriage Proposals Jokes —

An elderly pair (he a widower, she a widow) meet in a retirement village.

They seem to hit it off; they share each other’s values, enjoy the same jokes, and find pleasure in each other’s company.

After a few months, the widower asks for the hand of the widow in marriage.

She appears hesitant and decided to probe her soon-to-be a little.

“Perhaps I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, but… How’s your health?”

“It’s OK”, he answers.

“I’m not getting any younger, but I don’t have any major health problems.

I can still enjoy life”.

“Well, then”, she replies

“I don’t want to be a snoop, but I’ve got to protect myself: how are you fixed financially?”

“So-so. I’m not rich, but I’m comfortable.

You don’t have to worry about me sponging off you; I can support myself”.

The little old lady blushes, and finally asks her swain – “And how’s your sex life….”

“Infrequently”, he declares.

The widow ponders this for a moment or so, before asking…

“And is that one word or two?

— Best Marriage Proposals Jokes — Best Marriage Proposals Jokes —

IT Professional Marriage Proposal

Baby, I ‘v seen you yesterday while surfing on local train platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing for.

For long time, I have been lonely, trying to find a bug in my life and you can

be a real debugger for me now.

My life is just an uncompilable program without you, which never produces an executable code and hence is useless.

You are not only beautiful by face but all your Active X controls are attractive as well.

Your smile is so delightful, which encourages me and gives power to me equal to thousands of mainframes processing power.

When you looked at me last evening, I felt like all my program modules were running

smoothly and giving expected results.

/* Which I never experienced before */.

With this letter, I just want to convey to you that, if we linked together, I’ll provide you all objects & libraries necessary for a human being to live an error free life.

Also don’t bother about the firewall which may be created by

our parents as I’ve strong hacking capabilities by which I’ll ultimately

break their security passwords and make them agree for our marriage.

I anticipate that nobody is already logged in to your database

so that my connect script will fail.

And its all certain that if this happened to me, I will crash my system beyond recovery.

Kindly interpret this letter properly and grant me all privileges of your inbox.

Only yours,

XYZ Software Professional

— Best Marriage Proposals Jokes —

When I married MR. RIGHT, I didn’t know his first name was ALWAYS!

Stewardess: I’m sorry, Mr. Smith, but we left your wife behind in London.

Mr. Smith: Thank goodness! I thought I was going deaf!

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

— Funny Marriage Quotes —

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

Never marry a man for money. You’ll have to earn every penny.

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!).

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman’s finger and two under the man’s eyes.

My Wife Says I Never Listen, Or Something Like That…

It’s true that all men are born free and equal – but some of them get MARRIED!

— Funny Marriage Quotes —

Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

We have a quiet home life. I don’t speak to her and she doesn’t speak to me.

There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman – And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two!

The wise never marry – And when they marry they become otherwise.

There was a man who said, “I never knew what happiness was until I got married…. and then it was too late!”

Men are all the same – they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

— Funny Marriage Quotes —

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

Words to live by – do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.

They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defence.

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.”

No husband has ever been shot while washing dishes.

— Funny Marriage Quotes —

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. the rest cheat in Europe.

If you want a committed man look in a mental hospital.

A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.

Losing a husband can be hard. In my case, it was damned near impossible.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” And the husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice it.”

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

— Funny Marriage Quotes —

A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

Before we got married I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets.

It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

He met her in a revolving door and has been going around with her ever since.

A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes.

Every man/woman should marry – After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

Our marriage was a love match. Plain and simple – she was plain and I was simple!

Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence?

Wife to Husband: I’m looking for a loophole.